My dad was not a good dad. He never abused us mentally, physically or sexually....but he did emotionally. He never told us he loved us, he never hugged or kissed us and he never spent any time with us.
I never thought I'd have to talk about him to my kids because he died several years ago and my kids had never met him/heard about him/seen photos of him.
Tonight C. asked me about him. I started out being vague ("he died" "in his 50's" "heart attack" bla bla) and then he asked "was he a nice dad?"
I just froze. I didn't want to lie or give my father the gift of making him out to be a good person to the grandchild he chose to never meet. So I just answered, "no". This threw him for a loop. He asked, "what did he do mean to you?"
I had NO idea what to say, since he is too young to know or understand. But, I didn't think my father deserved a lie that he was a good person.
I simply said, "He didn't do anything mean to me. He never told me he loved me." His eyes got wide. I said, "You are very lucky that you have a dad that tells you that every day."
I think that is one reason I kiss him, hug him, snuggle him (against his will) and tell him I love him a million times a day. I cannot even imagine my children growing up NOT knowing that I, and their father, love them more than anything in this world.